The experience of everyday life, accompanied by the rapid development of technology enables a person to do things quickly and efficiently and, furthermore, participate in a rapid online communication which simultaneously increases global awareness of mutual belonging. This reality has been particularly evident in this time of global pandemic. The internet and virtual social transparency, including social networks such as Facebook and Twitter as well as media wars, are just a small result of what the entire global internet-driven system enables. While, on the one hand, this global system has a useful goal—better interpersonal connectivity and rapid exchange of information, it, on the other hand and as a side effect with iatrogenic consequences in addition to virtual control, has resulted in a certain kind of personal alienation and loss of close interpersonal relationships. This, for instance, means that the speed and efficiency of communication of social networks platforms as well as a large number of "Facebook friends do not entail the quality or intimacy of mutual relations.
For example, we sometimes function perfectly through online social networks, but, in reality, when we find ourselves face to face with another person, our self-sufficient self often remains disappointed with the level of personal “inefficiency” in creating quality personal relationships. On the other hand, we find ourselves in immediate awareness of our own limitations in living in a relationship with another person. While perhaps advances in modern communication technology have aimed to reduce alienation and abandonment—almost paradoxically—the growing need for internet, cell phones, or television records an increasing decrease of self-awareness, lack of proper socialization, fear of other (ghostly) humans and, finally, loneliness. While today almost everyone becomes a virtual "Facebook friend", true friendship is almost disappearing. The sociologist Ray Pahl reported that the modern person lives in the fear of knowing the truth about himself, and, on the other hand, is in a perpetual need to hide. Related to this, recent research in the field of sociology and psychology has shown that despite the virtual social vortex, in reality there are people who either do not have the ability to find friends or do not have friends at all. The experience of isolation and loneliness is not limited to those whom society considers socially excluded. This is very often even a perpetual problem for spouses, those who are in relationships, and increasingly a common problem for "celebrities."
But is this alienation, isolation and loneliness always so negative? Is the experience of isolation and loneliness a temporary existential chaos or might it also be a touch of God’s love?
While Jesus retreated into solitude to pray (Mt 14:13; Mt 17: 1; Lk 5:16), and the church fathers into the desert to be closer to themselves and God by living in silence and solitude, modern people live in constant fear of solitude and loneliness. In addition, one not only wants to avoid the confrontation of that painful, boring and uncomfortable feeling within oneself that loneliness and solitude creates, but modern people are moreover afraid of the encounter with the truth about themselves—the truth of one’s self. Thus, the experience of loneliness, or as I would call it, the experience of the modern form of desert, is a place where one struggles with the opposite, with the painful and somewhat destructive part of her/himself.
Paradoxically, life without experiences of solitude or moments of silence can become destructive and alienating. Therefore, the experience of solitude—or silence or loneliness—does not have to be only a tragic experience. Perhaps as a form of modern desert, it is here where we can find that quiet moment of personal peace in which God gives us a chance to meet him. Perhaps it is a place where, despite the rush of modern chaos, God himself, not only wants to approach us, but in His own initiative, creates that place for the encounter with Him.
Looking at the experience of solitude from a moral perspective, one can say that solitude indeed is not at all pleasant, since it takes us from our self-sufficient "I" to deeper and more realistic knowledge of oneself. The interior suddenly becomes a place of confrontation with a thousand repressed thoughts and feelings, forced conflicts, and mental chaos. At the same time, it can be a place of encounter with God, and a chance for our inner transformation through which Christ frees us from earthly compulsions and transforms us into his image. Thus, the modern form of solitude called loneliness, or a feeling of abandonment is an actual place of discovering the value and dignity of one’s own existence, words and realization of the true value of another, and ultimately the greatness of God.
After all, solitude or a sense of loneliness is not a waste of time. It is not existential failure. It's actually a grace and a quiet touch of God's love that gives us a chance to feel, love and believe in a new way. Instead of just blabbering into an exposure of media chaos, we can save the dignity of words, the creative power of our own inner-self and greater solidarity with people by accepting solitude instead of rigorously neglecting it.